Terry Pratchett Quotes (152 Quotes)
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- Soon to come in licorice, orange, cinnamon, and banana, but not strawberry, because I hate strawberries.
(Terry Pratchett, "Going Postal")
- Neither claimed any responsibility for Milton Keynes, but both reported it as a success.
(Terry Pratchett, "Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch")
- In the words of the philosopher Scepturn, the founder of my profession: am I going to get paid for this?
(Terry Pratchett, "Night Watch")
- Probably the last man who knew how it worked had been tortured to death years before. Or as soon as it was installed. Killing the creator was a traditional method of patent protection.
(Terry Pratchett, "Small Gods")
- Fate can be one mean god at times.
(Terry Pratchett, "The Color of Magic")
- That's what's so stupid about the whole magic thing, you know. You spend twenty years learning the spell that makes nude virgins appear in your bedroom, and then you're so poisoned by quicksilver fumes and half-blind from reading old grimoires that you can't remember what happens next.
(Terry Pratchett, "The Color of Magic")
- Speak softly and employ a huge man with a crowbar.
(Terry Pratchett, "Going Postal")
- Occasionally he would very nearly swear.
(Terry Pratchett, "Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch")
- Ninety percent of most magic merely consists of knowing one extra fact.
(Terry Pratchett, "Night Watch")
- The merest accident of microgeography had meant that the first man to hear the voice of Om, and who gave Om his view of humans, was a shepherd and not a goatherd. They have quite different ways of looking at the world, and the whole of history might have been different. For sheep are stupid, and have to be driven. But goats are intelligent, and need to be led.
(Terry Pratchett, "Small Gods")
- He thought about how it might be to be, say, a fox confronted with an angry sheep. A sheep moreover, that could afford to employ wolves.
(Terry Pratchett, "The Color of Magic")
- The complete reverse was so often the case that he had come to think of it as a kind of natural law.
(Terry Pratchett, "The Color of Magic")
- Steal five dollars and you're a common thief. Steal thousands and you're either the government or a hero.
(Terry Pratchett, "Going Postal")
- Oh, he did his best to make their short lives miserable, because that was his job, but nothing he could think up was half as bad as the stuff they thought up themselves.
(Terry Pratchett, "Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch")
- One of the hardest lessons in young Sam's life had been finding out that the people in charge weren't in charge. It had been finding out that governments were not, on the whole, staffed by people who had a grip, and that plans were what people made instead of thinking.
(Terry Pratchett, "Night Watch")
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