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Terry Pratchett’s “Going Postal” Quotes (20 Quotes)


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  • Speak softly and employ a huge man with a crowbar.
    (Terry Pratchett, "Going Postal")

  • Steal five dollars and you're a common thief. Steal thousands and you're either the government or a hero.
    (Terry Pratchett, "Going Postal")

  • The figure stopped to cough long and hard, making a noise like a wall being hit repeatedly with a bag of rocks. Moist saw that it had a beard of the short bristled type that suggested that its owner had been interrupted halfway through eating a hedgehog.
    (Terry Pratchett, "Going Postal")

  • There was no safety. There was no pride. All there was, was money. Everything became money, and money became everything. Money treated us as if we were things, and we died.
    (Terry Pratchett, "Going Postal")

  • But…but you can't treat religion as a sort of buffet, can you? I mean, you can't say yes please, I'll have some of the Celestial Paradise and a helping of the Divine Plan but go easy on the kneeling and none of the Prohibition of Images, they give me wind. Its table d´hôte or nothing, otherwise…well, it would be silly.
    (Terry Pratchett, "Going Postal")


  • Theres no stink more sorrorful than the stink of wet, burnt paper. It means: the end.
    (Terry Pratchett, "Going Postal")

  • Did I do anything last night that suggested I was sane?
    (Terry Pratchett, "Going Postal")

  • They say that the prospect of being hanged in the morning concentrates a man's mind wonderfully; unfortunately, what the mind inevitably concentrates on is that, in the morning, it will be in a body that is going to be hanged.
    (Terry Pratchett, "Going Postal")

  • Do you not know that a man is not dead while his name is still spoken?
    (Terry Pratchett, "Going Postal")

  • You did what you were told or you didn't get paid, and if things went wrong it wasn't your problem. It was the fault of whatever idiot has accepted this message for sending in the first place. No one cared about you, and everyone at headquarters was an idiot. It wasn't your fault, no one listened to you. Headquarters had even started an Employee of the Month scheme to show how much they cared. That was how much they didn't care.
    (Terry Pratchett, "Going Postal")

  • I commend my soul to any god that can find it.
    (Terry Pratchett, "Going Postal")

  • You know how to pray, don't you? Just put your hands together and hope.
    (Terry Pratchett, "Going Postal")

  • I wonder if it's like this for mountain climbers, he thought. You climb bigger and bigger mountains and you know that one day one of them is going to be just that bit too steep. But you go on doing it, because it's so-o good when you breathe the air up there. And you know you'll die falling.
    (Terry Pratchett, "Going Postal")

  • If you kept changing the way people saw the world, you ended up changing the way you saw yourself.
    (Terry Pratchett, "Going Postal")

  • In defiance of Miss Maccalariat I'd like to commit hanky-panky with you, Miss Adora Belle Dearheart... well, certainly hanky, and possibly panky when we get to know one another better.
    (Terry Pratchett, "Going Postal")


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