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Terry Pratchett Quotes (152 Quotes)


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  • Last night there seemed to be a chance. Anything was possible last night. That was the trouble with last nights. They were always followed by this mornings.
    (Terry Pratchett, "Small Gods")

  • But in his experience it was only a matter of time before the normal balance of the universe restored itself and started doing the usual terrible things to him.
    (Terry Pratchett, "The Color of Magic")

  • Rincewind tried to force the memory out of his mind, but it was rather enjoying itself there, terrorizing the other occupants and kicking over the furniture.
    (Terry Pratchett, "The Color of Magic")

  • Moist was sure doctors keep skeletons around to cow patients. Nyer, nyer, we know what you look underneath ...
    (Terry Pratchett, "Going Postal")

  • He was currently wondering vaguely who Moey and Chandon were.
    (Terry Pratchett, "Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch")


  • He moved on, in the centre of a widening circle. He wasn't an enemy, he was a nemesis.
    (Terry Pratchett, "Night Watch")

  • Om rubed his head. This wasn't god-like thinking. It seemed simpler when you were up here. It was all a game. You forgot that it wasn't a game down there. People died. Bits got chopped off. We're like eagles up here, he thought. Sometimes we show tortoise how to fly. Then we let go.
    (Terry Pratchett, "Small Gods")

  • Either dragons should exist completely or fail to exist at all, he felt. A dragon only half-existing was worse than the extremes.
    (Terry Pratchett, "The Color of Magic")

  • Some pirates achieved immortality by great deeds of cruelty or derring-do. Some achieved immortality by amassing great wealth. But the captain had long ago decided that he would, on the whole, prefer to achieve immortality by not dying.
    (Terry Pratchett, "The Color of Magic")

  • Sometimes the truth is arrived at by adding all the little lies together and deducting them from the totality of what is known.
    (Terry Pratchett, "Going Postal")

  • He'd always known that the world was an interesting place, and his imagination had peopled it with pirates and bandits and spies and astronauts and similar. But he'd also had a nagging suspicion that, when you seriously got right down to it, they were all just things in books and didn't properly exist anymore.
    (Terry Pratchett, "Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch")

  • His movements could be called cat-like, except that he did not stop to spray urine up against things.
    (Terry Pratchett, "Night Watch")

  • One day a tortoise will learn how to fly.
    (Terry Pratchett, "Small Gods")

  • Every intelligent being, whether it breathes or not, coughs nervously at some time in its life.
    (Terry Pratchett, "The Color of Magic")

  • Sometime later the islanders on a little rimward atoll were amazed to find, washed into their little local lagoon, the wave-rocked corpse of a hideous sea monster, all beaks, eyes and tentacles. They were further astonished at its size, since it was rather larger than their village. But their surprise was tiny compared to the huge, stricken expression on the face of the dead monster, which appeared to be have been trampled to death.
    (Terry Pratchett, "The Color of Magic")


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