It's a fine motion picture up to the point where God finishes and the script writer takes over.
America is becoming so educated that ignorance will be a novelty. I will belong to the select few.
Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.
So live that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.
Maybe ain't ain't so correct, but I notice that lots of folks who ain't using ain't ain't eating.
Elections are a good deal like marriages. There's no accounting for anyone's taste. Every time we see a bridegroom we wonder why she ever picked him, and it's the same with public officials.
I see a good deal of talk from Washington about lowering taxes. I hope they do get 'em lowered enough so people can afford to pay 'em.
Even when you make a tax form out on the level, you do not know when it is through if you are a crook or a martyr.
There is something about a Republican that you can only stand him for so long and on the other hand, there is something about a Democrat that you can't stand him quite that long.
I joked about every prominent man of my time, but I never met a man I didn't like.
Democrats never agree on anything, that's why they're Democrats. If they agreed with each other, they would be Republicans.
Government investigations have always contributed more to our amusement than they have to our knowledge.
There's no way in the world you're going to make a political party respectable unless you keep it out of office.
On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.
You can't say civilization isn't advancing in every war they kill you in a new way.
There's the one thing no nation can ever accuse us of and that is secret diplomacy. Our foreign dealings are an open book, generally a check book.
Our constitution protects aliens, drunks and U.S. Senators.
I never yet talked to the man who wanted to save time who could tell me what he was going to do with the time he saved.
If you can build a business up big enough, it's respectable.
There is one thing about Englishmen, they won't fix anything till it's just about totally ruined. You couldn't get the English to fix anything at the start. No They like to sit and watch it grow worse. Then, when it just looks like the whole thing has gone up Salt Creek, why, the English jump in and rescue it.
I wonder if it isn't just cowardice instead of generosity that makes us give tips.
This country has gotten where it is in spite of politics, not by the aid of it. That we have carried as much political bunk as we have and still survived shows we are a super nation.
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
People's minds are changed through observation and not through argument.
The best way to make a fire with two sticks is to make sure one of them is a match.
The United States never lost a war or won a conference.
No party is as bad as its leaders.
The more you observe politics, the more you've got to admit that each party is worse than the other.
Things in our country run in spite of government, not by aid of it.
Nothing makes a man as mad as the truth.
We will send the Marines to any nation that can get ten people to say they want it.
I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies.
I hope we never live to see the day when a thing is as bad as some of our newspapers make it
There is no better place in the world to find out the shortcomings of each other than in a conference.
You got to do more than just live in the country to be a Farmer.
When the Oakies left Oklahoma and moved to California, it raised the I.Q. of both states.
You've got to be (an) optimist to be a Democrat, and you've got to be a humorist to stay one
If all politicians fished instead of spoke publicly, we would be at peace with the world.
One revolution is just like one cocktail -- it gets you organized for the next.
we have a very strong defense.
There is nothing so stupid as an educated man, if you get off the thing that he was educated in.
There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in.
With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law and every time they make a law it's a joke.
Congressional investigations are for the benefit of photographers.
A holding company is a thing where you hand an accomplice the goods while the policeman searches you.
The difference between a Republican and a Democrat is the Democrat is a cannibal they have to live off each other, while the Republicans, why, they live off the Democrats.
I tell you folks, all politics is applesauce.
It's one of the most progressive cities in the world. Shooting is only a sideline.
One Ad is worth more to a paper than forty Editorials.
Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have.
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