Will Rogers Quotes (368 Quotes)

I joked about every prominent man in my lifetime, but I never met a man I didn't like.

If we ever pass out as a great nation, we ought to put on our tombstone 'America died of the delusion that she had moral leadership.'

Why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as well as prohibition did, in five years Americans would be the smartest race of people on Earth.

There are two things that can disrupt the American economy. One is a war. The other is a meeting of The Federal Reserve Board.

See what will happen if you don't stop biting your fingernails.

There will never be a time when the old horse is not superior to any auto ever made.

One revolution is like one cocktail, it just gets you organized for the next.

Popularity is the easiest thing in the world to gain and it is the hardest thing to hold

People don't change under governments. Governments change. People remain the same.

A fool and his money are soon elected.

An economist is a man that can tell you . . . what can happen under any given condition, and his guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's too.

My forefather didn't come over on the Mayflower, but they were there to meet the boat.

A man that don't love a horse, there is something the matter with him.

Civilization has taught us to eat with a fork, but even now if nobody is around we use our fingers.

In the early days of the Indian Territory, there were no such things as birth certificates. You being there was certificate enough.

The only real diplomacy ever performed by a diplomat is in deceiving their own people after their dumbness has got them into a war.

Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock.

I can remember way back when a liberal was one who was generous with his own money.