Swiss Cheese is a rip-off It's the only cheese I can bite into and miss
More Quotes from Mitch Hedberg:
I like to hold the microphone cord like this, I pinch it together, then I let it go, then you hear a whole bunch of jokes at once.Mitch Hedberg
You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don't want to eat the fish, they just want to make it late for something.
Mitch Hedberg
I used to be a hot-tar roofer. Yeah, I remember that... day.
Mitch Hedberg
I got my hair highlighted because I thought some strands were more important than others.
Mitch Hedberg
I had a job interview at an insurance company once and the lady said Where do you see yourself in five years and i said Celebrating the fifth year anniversary of you asking me this question.
Mitch Hedberg
I never joined the army because at ease was never that easy to me. Seemed rather uptight still. I don't relax by parting my legs slightly and putting my hands behind my back. That does not equal ease. At ease was not being in the military. I am at ease, bro, because I am not in the military.
Mitch Hedberg
Readers Who Like This Quotation Also Like:
Based on Keywords: rip-offGenerals think war should be waged like the tourneys of the Middle Ages. I have no use for knights; I need revolutionaries.
Adolf Hitler
Follow love and it will flee, flee love and it will follow thee.
John Gay
You can never be too rich or too thin.
Wallis Simpson