I went to the store to bye a candle holder. They didn't have one so I got a cake.
More Quotes from Mitch Hedberg:
On a traffic light green means go and yellow means yield, but on a banana it's just the opposite. Green means hold on, yellow means go ahead, and red means where the hell did you get that banana at...Mitch Hedberg
So, I sit at the hotel at night and I think of something that's funny. Or, If the pen is too far away, I have to convince myself that what I thought of wasn't funny.
Mitch Hedberg
At my hotel room, my friend came over and asked to use the phone. I said Certainly. He said Do I need to dial 9 I say Yeah. Especially if it's in the number. You can try four and five back to back real quick.
Mitch Hedberg
I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.
Mitch Hedberg
I think foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs.
Mitch Hedberg
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Ridicule is a weak weapon when pointed at a strong mind; but common people are cowards and dread an empty laugh.Martin Farquhar Tupper
Opera is one of the most important art forms. It should be listened to and appreciated by everyone.
Luciano Pavarotti
And Fall, with her yeller harvest moon and the hills growin' brown and golden under a sinkin' sun.
Roy Bean