Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults.
More Quotes from Mitch Hedberg:
I'm gonna fix that last joke by taking out all the words and adding new ones.Mitch Hedberg
Sometimes I make some money doin' comedy. I made 3000 opening for the Neville Brothers, and they paid me in cash, so I had 3000 in my front pocket. That was a bad situation, because then I start to buy ridulous sh. Like, I bought a snake-bite emergency repair kit. Then I said to my friends, 'Don't even worry about snakes anymore.' Then my friend stepped on a worm, I said, 'Lay down.' Snake bite emergency repair kit... is a body bag.
Mitch Hedberg
I saw a human pyramid once. It was very unnecessary.
Mitch Hedberg
I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle.
Mitch Hedberg
I have an underwater camera just in case I crash my car into a river, and at the last minute I see a photo opportunity of a fish that I have never seen.
Mitch Hedberg
Say, I was on The Craig Kilbourne Show and the next day I flew to Minneapolis. I was at the airport and a guy came up. He said, 'Dude, I saw you on TV last night.' But he did not say whether or not he thought I was good, he just confirmed that I was on television. So I turned my head away from him for about a minute, then I turned it back. I said, 'Dude, I saw you at the airport about a minute ago. And you were good.'
Mitch Hedberg
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Based on Keywords: alfredo, macaroniWe burned to death 100,000 Japanese civilians in Tokyo - men, women and children. LeMay recognized that what he was doing would be thought immoral if his side had lost. But what makes it immoral if you lose and not immoral if you win?
Robert McNamara
If you watch the news and don't like it, then this is your counter program to the news.
Jon Stewart
Remember: Always walk in the light. And if you feel like you're not walking in it, go find it. Love the light.
Roberta Flack