My girlfriend said to me in bed last night' 'you're a pervert' I said, 'that's a big word for a girl of nine'.
More Quotes from Emo Philips:
My jokes are in my head and I have a duplicate copy of my jokes in a lot of British comics' heads, where they are safe.Emo Philips
You know what I hate? Indian givers... no, I take that back.
Emo Philips
I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.
Emo Philips
When I was a kid, my goodness, corporate America was a bunch of stolid white guys in gray suits trying to be serious, and now it's stolid white guys in gray suits trying to be funny.
Emo Philips
Probably the worst time in a person's life is when they have to kill a family member because they are the devil. But otherwise it's been a pretty good day.
Emo Philips
My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself.
Emo Philips
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I am not a member of any organization listed by the Attorney General as subversive. In any instance where I lent my name in the past, it was certainly without knowledge that such an organization was subversive. I have always been essentially and foremost an American.Judy Holliday
Sooner or later the Internet will become profitable. It's an old story played before by canals, railroads and automobiles.
Paul Samuelson
All great civilizations, in their early stages, are based on success in war.
Kenneth Clark