Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.
More Quotes from Emo Philips:
I was with this girl the other night and from the way she was responding to my skillful caresses, you would have sworn that she was conscious from the top of her head to the tag on her toes.Emo Philips
I asked my girlfriend, 'Will you marry me?' She said, 'We'll have to ask my father.' So we had a seance and Jack Ruby says, 'Hello!'
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The American government is making nuclear weapons like there's no tomorrow.
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Well, my brother says Hello. So, hooray for speech therapy.
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In our school you were searched for guns and knifes on the way in and if you didn't have any, they gave you some.
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I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
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