Probably the worst time in a person's life is when they have to kill a family member because they are the devil. But otherwise it's been a pretty good day.
More Quotes from Emo Philips:
I was walking down fifth avenue today and I found a wallet, and I was gonna keep it, rather than return it, but I thought: well, if I lost a hundred and fifty dollars, how would I feel? And I realized I would want to be taught a lesson.Emo Philips
I got a letter from the IRS. Apparently I owe them 800. So I sent them a letter back. I said, If you'll remember, I fastened my return with a paper clip, which according to your very own latest government pentagon spending figures will more than make up for the difference.
Emo Philips
My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing.
Emo Philips
England is better only because I stand out there as 'unusual'.
Emo Philips
I ran three miles today. Finally I said, Lady take your purse.
Emo Philips
How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand.
Emo Philips
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Out of five hundred who speak glibly of love, not one can spell the first letter of his name.
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Words are the basic tools, if you are a writer. But why? Why do you choose one set of tools rather than another?
James D. Houston