I ran three miles today. Finally I said, Lady take your purse.
More Quotes from Emo Philips:
I once had a large gay following, but I ducked into an alleyway and lost him.Emo Philips
I got some new underwear the other day. Well, new to me.
Emo Philips
How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand.
Emo Philips
I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.
Emo Philips
My girlfriend said to me in bed last night' 'you're a pervert' I said, 'that's a big word for a girl of nine'.
Emo Philips
My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing.
Emo Philips
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Death is the welcome cessation of idiocy.
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On that show, I did country and some rock, too, whatever record I had out at the time, I'd sing that.
Wanda Jackson