My jokes are in my head and I have a duplicate copy of my jokes in a lot of British comics' heads, where they are safe.
More Quotes from Emo Philips:
It's amazing where a joke might come from. I find a lot of humour just by metaphorically turning things upside down or literally like my wife's cat.Emo Philips
I'm a great lover, I'll bet.
Emo Philips
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Emo Philips
Probably the worst time in a person's life is when they have to kill a family member because they are the devil. But otherwise it's been a pretty good day.
Emo Philips
I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator.
Emo Philips
I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well."
Emo Philips
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