It's amazing where a joke might come from. I find a lot of humour just by metaphorically turning things upside down or literally like my wife's cat.
More Quotes from Emo Philips:
He taught me never to smile, which helps me when I visit disaster sites.Emo Philips
I love to go to the playground and watch the children jumping up and down. They don't know I'm firing blanks.
Emo Philips
When I wake up in the morning, I just can't get started until I've had that first, piping hot pot of coffee. Oh, I've tried other enemas.
Emo Philips
New York's such a wonderful city. Although I was at the library today. The guys are very rude. I said, I'd like a card. He says, You have to prove you're a citizen of New York. So I stabbed him.
Emo Philips
My mother was like a sister to me, only we didn't have sex quite so often.
Emo Philips
I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to get lucky, but there wasn't any gum under any of them.
Emo Philips
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Based on Topics: Cats Quotes, Jokes & Humor QuotesBased on Keywords: metaphorically
Women and birds are able to see without turning their heads, and that is indeed a necessary provision for they are both surrounded by enemies.
James Stephens
But since I am in the music industry, I don't want anyone to download music, not on September 9th.
Obie Trice
If presidents can't do it to their wives, they do it to their country.
Mel Brooks