Bill Cosby Quotes (115 Quotes)

She (his wife) is the wind beneath my wings.

Old is always fifteen years from now.

I am certainly not an authority on love because there are no authorities on love, just those who've had luck with it and those who haven't.

Women don't want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think - in a deeper voice.

There's no labor a man can do that's undignified -- if he does it right.

It isn't a matter of black is beautiful as much as it is white is not all that's beautiful.

This is one of those stories that came out of the devastation of New Orleans that has not been widely told by the media.

You know the only people who are always sure about the proper way to raise children? Those who've never had any.

Why do kids always say peace out, I though peace was in.

A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.

Nothing separates the generations more than music. By the time a child is eight or nine, he has developed a passion for his own music that is even stronger than his passions for procrastination and weird clothes.

One of the beauties of watching our show is that, really and truly, it remains fresh because you're dealing with human beings and their behavior,

Your rooms are as filthy today as they were when you graduated from high school. And we want them cleaned up,

If you read my sixth-grade report card, you'd notice that I started with unsatisfactory grades. My teacher sent a note home to my mother that said I was a 'good boy' but I 'needed to be watched.' She put a 'body' on me. Our children are trying to tell us something. They are trying to tell the black mayors, school superintendents, teachers - all of us, that they need a whole lot of bodies on them.

Give me 200 active 2-year-olds and I could conquer the world.

Civilization had too many rules for me, so I did my best to rewrite them.

There's no reason for him to come here and jump on black men who have been held down for years.

When you become senile, you won't know it.

The childless experts on child raising also bring tears of laughter to my eyes when they say, I love children because they're so honest. There is not an agent in the CIA or the KGB who knows how to conceal the theft of food, how to fake being asleep, or how to forge a parent's signature like a child.

A new father quickly learns that his child invariably comes to the bathroom at precisely the times when he's in there, as if he needed company. The only way for this father to be certain of bathroom privacy is to shave at the gas station.

No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I'm not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal.

I'm not saying looting is good, ... But I'm saying surely at a time when your child needs diapers and you need food, when does looting stop ...

I wish that every new and young comedian would understand what Richard was about and not confuse his genius with his language usage.

The more you invest in that child, the more you're not going to let some CD tell your child how to curse and how to say the word n----- is an accepted word -- so hip to use n----- but you can't even spell it.

That's not my daughter.

People can be more forgiving than you can imagine. But you have to forgive yourself. Let go of what's bitter and move on.

Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.

Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.

A baseball manager has learned a lot about his job from having played the game, but a parent has not learned a thing from having once been a child.

We are living it now just like we wrote it. That means you are free to do whatever it is that you want to do. It's the hum of feeling wonderful with each other. But I think it's up to the man to shut up. Because when he shuts up, that's when it gets groovy. You hit a groove. And she keeps on talking. It's wonderful.

Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit.

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home.

It's more blessed to give than to receive -- especially kittens.

I'm not sure if my parents had me because they loved me, or because they wanted someone to watch their other children.

Fatherhood is helping your children learn English as a foreign language.

There is no labor a person does that is undignified; if they do it right.

A thought comes . . . it's a true feeling, a funny feeling. And I get to develop it. Writing is more fun than performing, because I get to color with words.

Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don't believe the kids should be given homework.

Did you ever see the customers in health-food stores They are pale, skinny people who look half dead. In a steak house, you see robust, ruddy people. They're dying, of course, but they look terrific.

In dealing with kids, no matter how little we understand their explanations, we must always remember that we're the adults. What this means I have no idea. It certainly means nothing to the kids, who instinctively seem to know that adults are merely strange people who have dopey ideas like Stop throwing peas at your sister.

Anyone should be able to say on stage what they want. But those who have knowledge, do understand that certain things on stage can be abused and misused. And if such topics are used just for laughter, the humor will not stand the test of time.

The three ingredients of a successful union between two . . . humor, commitment undying love.

The truth is that parents are not really interested in justice. They just want quiet.

And I was a physical education major with a child psychology minor at Temple, which means if you ask me a question about a child's behavior, I will advise you to tell the child to take a lap.

Fatherhood is telling your daughter that Michael Jackson loves all his fans, but has special feelings for the ones who eat broccoli.

Any man today who returns from work, sinks into a chair, and calls for his pipe is a man with an appetite for danger.

Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it.

Network executives never did understand what made our show work,

The thing that made such an impression with the audience was the clear fact that this show was different and not just in the color of the people or the fact that they were professionals, ... What made me want to do the series was that as a parent watching situation comedies with my family, I wanted to take the house back as a parent.

There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God.