LORD, n. In American society, an English tourist above the state of a costermonger.
LORD, n. In American society, an English tourist above the state of a costermonger.
NOISE, n. A stench in the ear. Undomesticated music. The chief product and authenticating sign of civilization.
SAUCE, n. The one infallible sign of civilization and enlightenment. A people with no sauces has one thousand vices a people with one sauce has only nine hundred and ninety-nine. For every sauce invented and accepted a vice is renounced and forgiven.
POLITICIAN, n. An eel in the fundamental mud upon which the superstructure of organized society is reared. When he wriggles, he mistakes the agitation of his tail for the trembling of the edifice.
MISDEMEANOR, n. An infraction of the law having less dignity than a felony and constituting no claim to admittance into the best criminal society.
In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.
LOCK-AND-KEY, n. The distinguishing device of civilization and enlightenment.
Inventor: A person who makes an ingenious arrangement of wheels, levers and springs, and believes it civilization.
SYLPH, n. An immaterial but visible being that inhabited the air when the air was an element and before it was fatally polluted with factory smoke, sewer gas and similar products of civilization.
MUSTANG, n. An indocile horse of the western plains. In English society, the American wife of an English nobleman.
Land: A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property subject to private ownership and control is the foundation of modern society, and is eminently worthy of the superstructure.
MONEY, n. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it. An evidence of culture and a passport to polite society. Supportable property.
© 2020 Inspirational Stories
© 2020 Inspirational Stories