Ambrose Bierce Quotes on America (19 Quotes)

LORD, n. In American society, an English tourist above the state of a costermonger.

Consul - in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.

TRUST, n. In American politics, a large corporation composed in greater part of thrifty working men, widows of small means, orphans in the care of guardians and the courts, with many similar malefactors and public enemies.

DELEGATION, n. In American politics, an article of merchandise that comes in sets.

YANKEE, n. In Europe, an American. In the Northern States of our Union, a New Englander. In the Southern States the word is unknown. (See DAMYANK.)

RAMSHACKLE, adj. Pertaining to a certain order of architecture, otherwise known as the Normal American. Most of the public buildings of the United States are of the Ramshackle order, though some of our earlier architects preferred the Ironic.

KING, n. A male person commonly known in America as a 'crowned head,' although he never wears a crown and has usually no head to speak of.

LIMB, n. The branch of a tree or the leg of an American woman.

RECOUNT, n. In American politics, another throw of the dice, accorded to the player against whom they are loaded.

TZETZE (or TSETSE) FLY, n. An African insect ('Glossina morsitans') whose bite is commonly regarded as nature's most efficacious remedy for insomnia, though some patients prefer that of the American novelist ('Mendax interminabilis').

REAR, n. In American military matters, that exposed part of the army that is nearest to Congress.

PRESIDENCY, n. The greased pig in the field game of American politics.

MAJESTY, n. The state and title of a king. Regarded with a just contempt by the Most Eminent Grand Masters, Grand Chancellors, Great Incohonees and Imperial Potentates of the ancient and honorable orders of republican America.

DEJEUNER, n. The breakfast of an American who has been in Paris. Variously pronounced.

KILT, n. A costume sometimes worn by Scotchmen in America and Americans in Scotland.

ROSTRUM, n. In Latin, the beak of a bird or the prow of a ship. In America, a place from which a candidate for office energetically expounds the wisdom, virtue and power of the rabble.

Alien - an American sovereign in his probationary state.

MUSTANG, n. An indocile horse of the western plains. In English society, the American wife of an English nobleman.

Wit - the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.