HOMOEOPATHIST, n. The humorist of the medical profession.
HOMOEOPATHIST, n. The humorist of the medical profession.
HYENA, n. A beast held in reverence by some oriental nations from its habit of frequenting at night the burial-places of the dead. But the medical student does that.
PHYSICIAN, n. One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well.
Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.
GRAVE, n. A place in which the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student.
INDIGESTION, n. A disease which the patient and his friends frequently mistake for deep religious conviction and concern for the salvation of mankind.
GOUT, n. A physician's name for the rheumatism of a rich patient.
TZETZE (or TSETSE) FLY, n. An African insect ('Glossina morsitans') whose bite is commonly regarded as nature's most efficacious remedy for insomnia, though some patients prefer that of the American novelist ('Mendax interminabilis').
LOVE, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the influences under which he incurred the disorder.
EJECTION, n. An approved remedy for the disease of garrulity. It is also much used in cases of extreme poverty.
HOMOEOPATHY, n. A school of medicine midway between Allopathy and Christian Science. To the last both the others are distinctly inferior, for Christian Science will cure imaginary diseases, and they can not.
POTABLE, n. Suitable for drinking. Water is said to be potable indeed, some declare it our natural beverage, although even they find it palatable only when suffering from the recurrent disorder known as thirst, for which it is a medicine.
MEDICINE, n. A stone flung down the Bowery to kill a dog in Broadway.
DIAGNOSIS, n. A physician's forecast of the disease by the patient's pulse and purse.
© 2020 Inspirational Stories
© 2020 Inspirational Stories