Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.
More Quotes from Mitch Hedberg:
I got my hair highlighted because I thought some strands were more important than others.Mitch Hedberg
People teach their dogs to sit; it's a trick. I've been sitting my whole life, and a dog has never looked at me as though he thought I was tricky.
Mitch Hedberg
My roommate says, I'm going to take a shower and shave, does anyone need to use the bathroom It's like some weird quiz where he reveals the answer first.
Mitch Hedberg
I opened-up a yogurt, underneath the lid it said, Please try again. because they were having a contest that I was unaware of. I thought maybe I opened the yogurt wrong. ...Or maybe Yoplait was trying to inspire me... Come on Mitchell, don't give up An inspirational message from your friends at Yoplait, fruit on the bottom, hope on top.
Mitch Hedberg
I have an underwater camera just in case I crash my car into a river, and at the last minute I see a photo opportunity of a fish that I have never seen.
Mitch Hedberg
I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.
Mitch Hedberg
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Children who assume adult responsibilities feel old when they're young.
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