People teach their dogs to sit; it's a trick. I've been sitting my whole life, and a dog has never looked at me as though he thought I was tricky.
More Quotes from Mitch Hedberg:
I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle.Mitch Hedberg
My sister wanted to be an actress, but she never made it. She does live in a trailer. She got halfway. She's an actress, she just never gets called to the set.
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I use the word totally too much. I need to change it up and use a word that is different but has the same meaning. Mitch do you like submarine sandwhiches All-encompassingly...
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I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long.
Mitch Hedberg
Swiss Cheese is a rip-off It's the only cheese I can bite into and miss
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I like to close my eyes on the stage, because I have drawn a picture of an audience enjoying the show more on the back of my eyelids.
Mitch Hedberg
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