My sister wanted to be an actress, but she never made it. She does live in a trailer. She got halfway. She's an actress, she just never gets called to the set.
More Quotes from Mitch Hedberg:
I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.Mitch Hedberg
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My sister wanted to be an actress. She never made it, but she does live in a trailer... so she got halfway. She's an actress, she's just never called to the set.
Mitch Hedberg
Swiss Cheese is a rip-off It's the only cheese I can bite into and miss
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People teach their dogs to sit; it's a trick. I've been sitting my whole life, and a dog has never looked at me as though he thought I was tricky.
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My friend said to me, You know what I like Mashed potatoes. I was like, Dude, you have to give me time to guess. If you're going to quiz me you have to insert a pause.
Mitch Hedberg
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