If you are with the quality, or at a funeral, or trying to go to sleep when you ain't sleepy - if you are anywheres where it won't do for you to scratch, why you will itch all over in upwards of a thousand places.
Tom appeared on the sidewalk with a bucket of whitewash and a long-handled brush. He surveyed the fence, and all gladness left him and a deep melancholy settled down upon his spirit. Thirty yards of board fence nine feet high. Life to him seemed hollow, and existence but a burden.
Jim he couldn't see no sense in the most of it, but he allowed we was white folks and knowed better than him;
Tom counted the pages of the sermon; after church he always knew how many pages there had been, but he seldom knew anything else about the discourse.
Jim said that bees won't sting idiots, but I didn't believe that, because I tried them lots of times myself and they wouldn't sting me.
Tom's army won a great victory, after a long and hard-fought battle. Then the dead were counted, prisoners exchanged, the terms of the next disagreement agreed upon, and the day for the necessary battle appointed; after which the armies fell into line and marched away, and Tom turned homeward alone.
Now, we'll start this band of robbers and call it Tom Sawyer's Gang. Everybody that wants to join has got to take an oath, and write his name in blood.
What a curious kind of fool a girl is. Never been licked in school. What's a licking?
Right is right, and wrong is wrong, and a body ain't got no business doing wrong when he ain't ignorant and knows better.
Tallustelin eteenpäin enkä noudattanut mitään erityistä suunnitelmaa, vaan luotin siihen, että Kaitselmus panisi oikeat sanat suuhuni, kun sellainen hetki koittaisi; sillä mä olin pannut merkille, että Kaitselmus pani mulle aina oikeat sanat suuhun, kunhan annoin sen puuhailla omin päin.
The pitifulest thing out is a mob; that's what an army is--a mob; they don't fight with courage that's born in them, but with courage that's borrowed from their mass, and from their officers. But a mob without any MAN at the head of it is BENEATH pitifulness.
Then the old man got to cussing, and cussed everything and everybody he could think of, and then cussed them all over again to make sure he hadn't skipped any, and after that he polished off with a kind of a general cuss all round, including a considerable parcel of people which he didn't know the names of, and so called them what's-his-name, when he got to them, and went right along with his cussing.
We catched fish, and talked, and we took a swim now and then to keep off sleepiness. It was kind of solemn, drifting down the big still river, laying on our backs looking up at the stars, and we didn't ever feel like talking loud, and it warn't often that we laughed, only a kind of low chuckle. We had mighty good weather, as a general thing, and nothing ever happened to us at all, that night, nor the next, nor the next.
Well, Ben Rogers, if I was as ignorant as you I wouldn't let on.
Well, Judge Thatcher he took it and put it out at interest, and it fetched us a dollar a day apiece all the year round- more than a body could tell what to do with.
I don't want no better book than what your face is.
Ah, if he could only die temporarily!
I had been to school most all the time, and could spell, and read, and write just a little, and could say the multiplication table up to six times seven is thirty-five, and I don't reckon I could ever get any further than that if I was to live forever. I don't take no stock in mathematics, anyway.
In another moment he was flying down the street with his pail and a tingling rear, Tom was whitewashing with vigor, and Aunt Polly was retiring from the field with a slipper in her hand and triumph in her eye.
I reckon the widow or the parson or somebody prayed that this bread would find me, and here it have gone and done it. So there ain't no doubt but there is something in that thing. That is, there's something in it when a body like the widow or the parson prays, but it don't work for me, and I reckon it don't work for only just the right kind.
Saturday morning was come, and all the summer world was bright and fresh, and brimming with life. There was a song in every heart; and if the heart was young, the music issued at the lips. There was cheer in every face and a spring in every step. The locust-trees were in bloom, and the fragrance of the blossoms filled the air. Cardiff Hill, beyond the village and above, it was green with vegetation, and it lay just far enough away to seem a Delectable Land, dreamy, reposeful, and inviting.
People talk about beautiful relationships between two persons of the same sex. What is the best of that sort as compared with the friendship of man and wife where the best impulses and highest ideals of both are the same? There is no place for comparison between the two friendships; the one is earthly, the other divine.
The fact is, the king was a good deal more than a king, he was a man; and when a man is a man, you can't knock it out of him.
Their very imagination was dead. When you can say that of a man he has struck bottom... there is no lower deep for him.
Wherefore, I beseech you let the dog and the onions and these people of the strange and godless names work out their several salvations from their piteous and wonderful difficulties without help of mine, for indeed their trouble is sufficient as it is, whereas an I tried to help I should but damage their cause the more and yet mayhap not live myself to see the desolation wrought.
All kings is mostly rapscallions, as fur as I can make out.
But I reckon I got to light out for the Territory ahead of therest, because Aunt Sally she's going to adopt me and sivilize me, and I can't stand it. I been there before.
He had been drunk over in town, and laid in the gutter all night, and he was a sight to look at. A body would a thought he was Adam, he was just all mud.
He was sunshine most always-I mean he made it seem like good weather.
Human beings can be awful cruel to one another.
But as soon as one is at rest in this world off he goes on something else to worry about.
I couldn't bear to think about it; and yet, somehow, I couldn't think about nothing else.
But it is a blessed provision of nature that at times like these, as soon as a man's mercury has got down to a certain point there comes a revulsion, and he rallies. Hope springs up, and cheerfulness along with it, and then he is in good shape to do something for himself, if anything can be done.
I do not wish any reward but to know I have done the right thing.
His head was an hour-glass; it could stow an idea, but it had to do it a grain at a time, not the whole idea at once.
I persuaded him to throw the dirk away; and it was as easy as persuading a child to give up some bright fresh new way of killing itself.
Now, what I contend is that my body is my own, at least I have always so regarded it. If I do harm through my experimenting with it, it is I who suffer, not the state.
We have an insanity plea that would have saved Cain
The old man laughed loud and joyously, shook up the details of his anatomy from head to foot, and ended by saying such a laugh was money in a man's pocket because it cut down the doctor's bills like anything
Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
Circumstances make man, not man circumstances.
The way it is now, the asylums can hold the sane people, but if we tried to shut up the insane we should run out of building materials.
The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes.
Principles aren't of much account anyway, except at election time. After that you hang them up to let them season.
There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish the farce.
More Mark Twain Quotations (Based on Topics)
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More Mark Twain Quotations (By Book Titles)
- A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court
- The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
- The Adventures of Tom Sawyer
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