Mark Twain Quotes: If you are with the quality, or at…

If you are with the quality, or at a funeral, or trying to go to sleep when you ain't sleepy - if you are anywheres where it won't do for you to scratch, why you will itch all over in upwards of a thousand places.

("The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn")

More Quotes from Mark Twain:

I saw a cat yesterday with 4 legs and yet it was only a yellow cat, and rather small, too, for its size. They were not all fore legs several of them were hind legs indeed almost a majority of them were.
Mark Twain

Beautiful credit The foundation of modern society. Who shall say that this is not the golden age of mutual trust, of unlimited reliance upon human promises That is a peculiar condition of society which enables a whole nation to instantly recognize point and meaning in the familiar newspaper anecdote, which puts into the mouth of a distinguished speculator in lands and mines this remark -- ''I wasn't worth a cent two years ago, and now I owe two millions of dollars.''
Mark Twain

A dozen direct censures are easier to bear than one morganatic compliment
Mark Twain

We have not all had the good fortune to be ladies. We have not all been generals, or poets, or statesmen but when the toast works down to the babies, we stand on common ground.
Mark Twain

America is built on a tilt, and everything loose slides towards California.
Mark Twain

To believe yourself brave is to be brave it is the one only essential thing
Mark Twain

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