Let us swear while we may, for in heaven it will not be allowed
Well, we can take you to meet Napoleon -- but he's shining the boots of the person who actually was the world's greatest military genius. He happens to have been a tinsmith from Pennsylvania who never had a chance to go to a military academy -- so he never even knew he was a great military genius. He was born with that capacity -- and only here in heaven do we actually know who these people are.
Heaven for climate, hell for society.
Heaven is by favor if it were by merit your dog would go in and you would stay out.
If I cannot smoke cigars in Heaven, I shall not go
If I cannot swear in heaven I shall not stay there.
Mauritius was made first, and then heaven and that heaven was copied after Mauritius.
There is no humor in heaven.
The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven.
The dog is a gentleman I hope to go to his heaven, not man's
Man is the religious animal. He is the only religious animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion - several of them. He is the only animal that loves his neighbor as himself and cuts his throat, if his theology isn't straight. He has made a graveyard of the globe in trying his honest best to smooth his brother's path to happiness and heaven.
Of the delights of this world man cares most for sexual intercourse, yet he has left it out of his heaven.
There is no God, no universe, no human race, no earthly life, no heaven, no hell. It is all a dream, a grotesque and foolish dream. Nothing exists but you. And you are but a thought --a vagrant thought, a useless thought, a homeless thought, wandering for
Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.
What a man misses mostly in heaven is company.
Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.
More Mark Twain Quotations (Based on Topics)
Man - World - Life - Time - People - Truth - God - Education - Mind - Books - Money & Wealth - Death & Dying - Heaven - Law & Regulation - Wisdom & Knowledge - Youth - Cats - Countries - Friendship - View All Mark Twain Quotations
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