I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. You'll be mad, but it will be too late.
More Quotes from Mitch Hedberg:
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All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me.
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Swiss Cheese is a rip-off It's the only cheese I can bite into and miss
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My sister wanted to be an actress, but she never made it. She does live in a trailer. She got halfway. She's an actress, she just never gets called to the set.
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Sometimes I fall asleep at night with my clothes on. I'm going to have all my clothes made out of blankets.
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I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.
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Based on Topics: Madness QuotesBased on Keywords: magnifying, sized, vending
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