Gracie Allen Quotes (15 Quotes)

The Senate is the only show in the world where the cash customers have to sit in the balcony.

All the other candidates are making speeches about how much they have done for their country, which is ridiculous. I haven't done anything yet, and I think it's just common sense to send me to Washington and make me do my share.

They laughed at Joan of Arc, but she went right ahead and built it.

I read a book twice as fast as anybody else. First, I read the beginning, and then I read the ending, and then I start in the middle and read toward whatever end I like best.

When my mother had to get dinner for 8 she'd just make enough for 16 and only serve half.

Every man is born with the ability to do something well. This is what the Lord intended him to do. Using that ability what life is all about.

When I was born I was so surprised that I didn't talk for a year and a half.

Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.

How badly do you want it.

Brains, integrity, and force may be all very well, but what you need today is Charm. Go ahead and work on your economic programs if you want to, I'll develop my radio personality.

My husband will never chase another woman. He's too fine, too decent, too old. said when George Burns was only 64. He lived to be 100

When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.

Gracie comes home from the hospital after visiting a sick friend. (George) 'Where did you get the flowers' (Gracie) 'I went to visit Mable.' (George) 'Yeah, so' (Gracie) 'WELL, you told me to take her flowers'

This used to be a government of checks and balances. Now it's all checks and no balances.

The President of today is just the postage stamp of tomorrow.