I invented the cordless extension cord.
More Quotes from Steven Wright:
It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.Steven Wright
I bought an ant farm. I don't know where I am going to get a tractor that small.
Steven Wright
The lady across the hall tried to rob a department store ... with a pricing gun. She said, 'Give me all of the money in the vault, or I'm marking down everything in the store.'
Steven Wright
Why is it lemon juice contains mostly artificial ingredients, but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons.
Steven Wright
Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
Steven Wright
I took a course in speed waiting. Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.
Steven Wright
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Based on Keywords: cord, cordlessMany times the players get in there and it's just about as well as they could have done, and other times they get in there and they favorites and they don't win.
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Me and my father went through a war period where we wasn't talking. He wanted me to go to theology school - I didn't want to go. I wanted to do music. I told him I was a minister through music.
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I don't get to watch Futurama, until it's on TV.
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