Steven Wright Quotes (287 Quotes)
- War doesn't determine who's right, just who's left.
(Steven Wright)
- Sorry ... my mind was wandering ... One time it went all the way to Venus and ordered a meal I couldn't pay for.
(Steven Wright)
- The statue is permanently out of place in my house,
(Steven Wright)
- I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.
(Steven Wright)
- Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors.
(Steven Wright)
- Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead.
(Steven Wright)
- Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
(Steven Wright)
- I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out.
(Steven Wright)
- Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time.
(Steven Wright)
- Why do banks charge you a 'non-sufficient funds fee' on money they already know you don't have.
(Steven Wright)
- Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
(Steven Wright)
- My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.
(Steven Wright)
- I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
(Steven Wright)
- 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
(Steven Wright)
- This isn't all true.
(Steven Wright)
More Steven Wright Quotations (Based on Topics)
Time - People - Night - Sign & Symbol - Cars - Dogs - Water - Money & Wealth - Mind - Babies - Error & Mistake - Man - World - Books - Light - Memory - Running - Future - Idea - Morning - View All Steven Wright QuotationsRelated Authors
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