MAC gave me 55 lipsticks to test. These are the same lipsticks I got caught stealing by the police when I was 15. How ironic.
More Quotes from Eddie Izzard:
Performance enhancing drugs are banned in the Olympics. Ok, we canswing with that. But performance debilitating drugs should not bebanned. Smoke a joint and win the hundred meters, fair play for you.That's pretty damn good. Unless someone's dangling a MarEddie Izzard
And you dont get the normal perks of a normal job, like people who work in an office they have other people there, you can flirt, you know You go, Hey Oh, youre new here, arent you How are you getting on Do you want a coffee I was gonna go get a coffee- I can get you a coffee You know, I like my coffee like I like my women- in a plastic cupBeekeepers cant do that 2,000 bees (buzzing sounds) Hello, there, you in the street Youre new, arent you(scared) HuhDo you want a cup of coffee Its no problem (buzzing continues) No real problemI dont want a cup of coffee from you Youre covered in beesI like my women like I like my coffee covered in bees Now back off, back off (screams)Theyre always just behind you or in front. If beekeepers get together, and go in a sort of general outing, and theyre in a van with a lot of bees following, Faster Faster (buzzing sounds) Faster Put your foot down(sighs) Yes
Eddie Izzard
Boy bands should be exploded from a great height. They're just pretty people singing music written by others.
Eddie Izzard
I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup.
Eddie Izzard
So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then President Clinton lied about a relationship, and everyone was surprised! A little naive, I feel!
Eddie Izzard
Pol Pot killed one point seven million Cambodians, died under house arrest, well done there. Stalin killed many millions, died in his bed, aged seventy-two, well done indeed. And the reason we let them get away with it is they killed their own people. And
Eddie Izzard
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The joys of my life are my granddaughters. They are beautiful. You don't have to believe me. You can ask my wife. She'll tell you.
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