You know how it is when you decide to lie and say the check is in the mail, and then you remember it really is I'm like that all the time.
More Quotes from Steven Wright:
The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.Steven Wright
I was arrested today for scalping low numbers at the deli.... Sold number 3 for 28 bucks.
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I put tape on my mirrors at my house so I won't accidentally walk through them into another dimension.
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I spent all my money on a FAX machine. Now I can only FAX collect.
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I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, 'Got any shoes you're not using'
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I walked up to a beautiful woman in a bar and I said, 'Do you live around here often' And she said, 'You're wearing two different colored socks.' And I said, 'I know, but to me they're the same, I go by thickness.'
Steven Wright
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