I was arrested today for scalping low numbers at the deli.... Sold number 3 for 28 bucks.
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How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him.Steven Wright
I took lessons in bicycle riding. But I could only afford half of them. Now I can ride a unicycle.
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The past week our bullpen threw a lot, especially with the doubleheaders in the (Rainbow) tournament, and we have five games this weekend, so I figure if I can finish the game off, I can give 'em a little rest so they can go out and get the next four game
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I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
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The sun never sets on the British Empire. But it rises every morning. The sky must get awfully crowded.
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I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.
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Psychoanalysts are not occupied with the minds of their patients; they do not believe in the mind but in a cerebral intestine.
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My grandmother was a Jewish juggler: she used to worry about six things at once.
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