I spent all my money on a FAX machine. Now I can only FAX collect.
More Quotes from Steven Wright:
I bought a million lottery tickets. I won a dollar.Steven Wright
If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and you turn on the headlights, does anything happen?
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I live on a one-way street that's also a dead end. I'm not sure how I got there.
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For a while I didn't have a car ... I had a helicopter ... no place to park it, so I just tied it to a lamp post and left it running. slow glance upward.
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If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from.
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You know how it is when you decide to lie and say the check is in the mail, and then you remember it really is I'm like that all the time.
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