I put tape on my mirrors at my house so I won't accidentally walk through them into another dimension.
More Quotes from Steven Wright:
I like to reminisce with people I don't know.Steven Wright
The other day I... uh, no, that wasn't me.
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My girlfriend does her nails with white-out. When she's asleep, I go over there and write misspelled words on them.
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Isn't the best way to save face to keep the lower part shut.
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My neighbor has a circular driveway... he can't get out.
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In terms of visits, we're probably going to wind up 3 to 5 percent ahead in visits and probably double that in revenue.
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The thing I can say about all this stuff that's going on right now is that I appreciate it.Josh Duhamel
It is in war that the State really comes into its own: swelling in power, in number, in pride, in absolute dominion over the economy and the society.
Murray Rothbard
An idol of the mind is as offensive to God as an idol of the hand.
Aiden Wilson Tozer