My girlfriend has a Queen-size bed.... I have a Court Jester size bed.... It's red and green, has bells on it ... and the ends curl up.
More Quotes from Steven Wright:
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.Steven Wright
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
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I was arrested today for scalping low numbers at the deli.... Sold number 3 for 28 bucks.
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I got my driver's license photo taken out of focus on purpose. Now when I get pulled over, the cop looks at it moving it nearer and farther, trying to see it clearly, and says, 'Here, you can go'
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I was at this restaurant. The sign said Breakfast Anytime. So I ordered French Toast in the Renaissance.
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The power in my apartment went out the other night. I had to use the flash on my camera to find my way around. I took twenty seven pictures of my kitchen while I was making a sandwich. The neighbors thought there was lightning in my house.
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