I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car.
More Quotes from Steven Wright:
A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space. On the back it said, 'Wish you were here.'Steven Wright
It's a big deal for us. We have over 200 people registered. They're coming from all over the United States. We have people coming from Canada, Bermuda.
Steven Wright
I bought a ticket on Airline Bizarre ... a one-way round-trip ticket.... You leave any Monday and they bring you back the previous Friday.... that way, you still have the weekend.
Steven Wright
The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.
Steven Wright
The lady across the hall tried to rob a department store ... with a pricing gun. She said, 'Give me all of the money in the vault, or I'm marking down everything in the store.'
Steven Wright
Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
Steven Wright
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Based on Topics: Cars Quotes, Friendship QuotesBecause I am afraid of commitment. This movie certainly has some bearing and is some reflection of my real feeling about relationships, because I do have commitment issues. My friends tell me I have intimacy problems, but they don't know me, so who cares what they think?
Garry Shandling
Soup is a lot like a family. Each ingredient enhances the others; each batch has its own characteristics; and it needs time to simmer to reach full flavor.
Marge Kennedy
When you think of Napster, you think of music. But the first thing that struck me was that this was an important case not only for the music industry but for the whole Internet.
David Boies