A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space. On the back it said, 'Wish you were here.'
More Quotes from Steven Wright:
If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.Steven Wright
I saw a close friend of mine the other day.... He said, 'Stephen, why haven't you called me' I said, 'I can't call everyone I want. My new phone has no five on it.' He said, 'How long have you had it' I said, 'I don't know ... my calendar has no sevens on it.'
Steven Wright
For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.
Steven Wright
If 'con' is the opposite of 'pro,' then what is the opposite of progress.
Steven Wright
I wrote a song, but I can't read music so I don't know what it is. Every once in a while I'll be listening to the radio and I say, 'I think I might have written that.'
Steven Wright
It didn't look like they were comfortable. Coach K and Esteban worked it in and out today, so (WIU) didn't know what was coming, so they didn't get any good swings.
Steven Wright
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Based on Topics: Space QuotesI can work for the Lord in or out of prison.
Charles W. Colson
If a man consults whether he is to fight, when he has the power in his own hands, it is certain that his opinion is against fighting.
Horatio Nelson
I don't think I'm great at acting. I think I'm great at directing.
Melissa Joan Hart