I got a garage door opener. It can't close. Just open.
More Quotes from Steven Wright:
If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from.Steven Wright
How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him.
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I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it.
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I put tape on my mirrors at my house so I won't accidentally walk through them into another dimension.
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My house is on the median strip of a highway. You don't really notice, except I have to leave the driveway doing 60 MPH.
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The power in my apartment went out the other night. I had to use the flash on my camera to find my way around. I took twenty seven pictures of my kitchen while I was making a sandwich. The neighbors thought there was lightning in my house.
Steven Wright
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