So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red.
More Quotes from Tim Vine:
So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'Tim Vine
I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself.
Tim Vine
So I rang up my local swimming baths. I said 'Is that the local swimming baths?' He said 'It depends where you're calling from.'
Tim Vine
So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said 'Who's speaking please?' And a voice said 'You are.'
Tim Vine
People ask 'do you make a conscious effort not to swear?' - if you're doing silly stuff you're not tempted to put swearing in. All the comics from my childhood, who were funny without swearing, were the people that influenced me. What I do is quite traditional anyway.
Tim Vine
So I said to the gym instructor: 'Can you teach me to do the splits?' He said: 'How flexible are you?' I said: I can't make Tuesdays.'
Tim Vine
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The establishment, the newspapers, they try to create something called Scottish literature, but when people are actually going to write, they are not going to necessarily prescribe to that, they'll write what they feel.Irvine Welsh
If we do not permit the earth to produce beauty and joy, it will in the end not produce food, either.
Joseph Wood Krutch
When something hasn't been around much for a while, and one example of it turns up and catches people's eyes, they go looking for more like it - until they get tired of it again.
Stanley Schmidt