Velcro: what a rip-off.
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So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said 'Who's speaking please?' And a voice said 'You are.'Tim Vine
I was reading a book... 'the history of glue' - I couldn't put it down.
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Apparently, one in five people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother, Colin. Or my younger brother, Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it's Colin.
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So I rang up my local swimming baths. I said 'Is that the local swimming baths?' He said 'It depends where you're calling from.'
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So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a lift?" I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'"
Tim Vine
Black beauty - he's a dark horse.
Tim Vine
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As a kid I used to pretend I was John Denver, of all people, and play the guitar and sing Take Me Home, Country Roads.
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There are no points of the compass on the chart of true patriotism.
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