With silly stuff, it's seventy-five percent confidence. I always tell people that it's because I'm nervous about getting that next laugh and I need to hear it. I always want to condense a joke.
More Quotes from Tim Vine:
My house is a bit like a teenager's bedroom. The kind of pictures you have hanging up on your wall say a lot about you. I've got ones of Evel Knievel, Elvis and Starsky and Hutch, signed by David Soul.Tim Vine
You see I'm against hunting, in fact I'm a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox.
Tim Vine
So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up, and he said 'You've been promoted.' And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said You've been promoted again.' And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you' And I said 'I careered off the road.'
Tim Vine
So I said to the gym instructor: 'Can you teach me to do the splits?' He said: 'How flexible are you?' I said: I can't make Tuesdays.'
Tim Vine
You see my next door neighbour worships exhaust pipes, he's a catholic converter.
Tim Vine
So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'
Tim Vine
Readers Who Like This Quotation Also Like:
Based on Topics: Confidence Quotes, Jokes & Humor QuotesBased on Keywords: condense, seventy-five
There may be something good in silence. It's a brand new thing. You can hear the funniest little discussions, if you keep turning the volume down. Shut yourself up, and listen out loud.
Wes Borland
Your life is the same wherever you go.
Gary Kemp
In that sense, film is superior, but the difficulty is your lack of control as a writer.
Terry Southern