So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'
More Quotes from Tim Vine:
I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again.Tim Vine
People ask 'do you make a conscious effort not to swear?' - if you're doing silly stuff you're not tempted to put swearing in. All the comics from my childhood, who were funny without swearing, were the people that influenced me. What I do is quite traditional anyway.
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I was at sea the other day and loads of meat floated past. It was a bit choppy.
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I sit in places like Costa Coffee in Banstead and write rubbish. I need a deadline. I think about the 44 tour dates and keep imagining standing in front of all these people. Then every day I write 15 jokes minimum.
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I was reading a book... 'the history of glue' - I couldn't put it down.
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And the back of his anorak was leaping up and down, and people were chucking money to him. I said 'Do you earn a living doing that' He said 'Yes, this is my livelihood.'
Tim Vine
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To be a member of the Communist Party is to have a taste of the police state. It is a diluted taste but is bitter and unforgettable.
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