I was walking down the street at 3am, and I passed a dry cleaner. The sign in the window said -Sorry, We're Closed. You don't have to be sorry. It's 3am. And you're a dry cleaners. Its not like I was gonna come back at 10 and say Hey man, I was here at 3 and you guys were closed... somebody owes me an apology.
More Quotes from Mitch Hedberg:
Kinko's is my favourite copy place cause it's open 24 hours, like if it's three in the morning, and I suddenly decide I need two of something, I'm covered.Mitch Hedberg
Onions make me sad, a lot of people don't realize that. When I'm cutting onions, I'm sad. Because the plight of onions, it's sad. But people don't realize I'm actually crying - they think I'm just reacting.
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Swiss Cheese is a rip-off It's the only cheese I can bite into and miss
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My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
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I'm gonna fix that last joke by taking out all the words and adding new ones.
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That would be cool if you could eat a good food with a bad food and the good food would cover for the bad food when it got to your stomach. Like you could eat a carrot with an onion ring and they would travel down to your stomach, then they would get there, and the carrot would say, It's cool, he's with me.
Mitch Hedberg
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