Onions make me sad, a lot of people don't realize that. When I'm cutting onions, I'm sad. Because the plight of onions, it's sad. But people don't realize I'm actually crying - they think I'm just reacting.
More Quotes from Mitch Hedberg:
I had a job interview at an insurance company once and the lady said Where do you see yourself in five years and i said Celebrating the fifth year anniversary of you asking me this question.Mitch Hedberg
Chicago is known as the Windy City, and Montana is called the Big Sky State, so I think that we should somehow combine the two to create the ultimate kite-flying experience.
Mitch Hedberg
Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8? That joke came off the top of my head, and the top of my head ain't funny!
Mitch Hedberg
I'd like to get four people who do cart wheels very good, and make a cart.
Mitch Hedberg
I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.
Mitch Hedberg
I had an apartment and I had a neighbor, and whenever he would knock on my wall I knew he wanted me to turn my music down and that made me angry 'cause I like loud music... so when he knocked on the wall, I'd mess with his head. I'd say Go around I cannot
Mitch Hedberg
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I shall ask to see whether they want me in dress clothes or in Japanese.
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