I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
More Quotes from Steven Wright:
After they make styrofoam, what do they ship it in.Steven Wright
I took a course in speed waiting. Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.
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I like to torture my plants by watering them with ice cubes.
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The past week our bullpen threw a lot, especially with the doubleheaders in the (Rainbow) tournament, and we have five games this weekend, so I figure if I can finish the game off, I can give 'em a little rest so they can go out and get the next four game
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Don't you hate when your hand falls asleep and you know it will be up all night.
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I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time". So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
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If you're good at it, you can win.Dawn Fraser
So I don't really focus too much on that, and I think it's dangerous if your goal in life is to get the other guy, then you're not going to be doing a really quality job yourself.
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As a rock star, I have two instincts, I want to have fun, and I want to change the world. I have a chance to do both.
Bono