Having a great intellect is no path to being happy.
When you've seen a nude infant doing a backward somersault you know why clothing exists.
It only takes a room of Americans for the English and Australians to realise how much we have in common.
Taste every fruit of every tree in the garden at least once. It is an insult to creation not to experience it fully. Temperance is wickedness.
You can't reason yourself back into cheerfulness any more than you can reason yourself into an extra six inches in height.
But if one could go back in time, I'd love to have been directed by Howard Hawks, who's one of my great heroes. One of the greatest directors there ever was. He directed probably one of the greatest westerns of all time in Rio Bravo.
But happiness is no respecter of persons.
I shouldn't be saying this - high treason, really - but I sometimes wonder if Americans aren't fooled by our accent into detecting brilliance that may not really be there.
Moving from chair to chair, from coffee machine to coffee machine is the limit of my action in most films. But I enjoy being cast in them because I love watching them.
I've always had great respect for Paddington because he is amusingly English and eccentric. He is a great British institution and my generation grew up with the books and then Michael Horden's animations.
As someone who worked hard for a Labour victory in the 90s, do I regret it? Not really. It was bound to happen. And it'll happen with the next government, and the one after it. Because all governments serve us. They serve the filth.
I am a lover of truth, a worshipper of freedom, a celebrant at the altar of language and purity and tolerance.
I'm afraid I was very much the traditionalist. I went down on one knee and dictated a proposal which my secretary faxed over straight away.
Having been an actor and a writer for so long - 20 years or so - I felt that it would be daft to go to one's grave without having directed. It's a natural extension of writing and acting, and so I knew it would happen one day.
Christmas to a child is the first terrible proof that to travel hopefully is better than to arrive.
There is so much we can learn from TV. It's a window on the world.
I think animal testing is cruel. They get nervous and get all the answers wrong.
I don't watch television, I think it destroys the art of talking about oneself.
Personally, I'd never seen a graphic novel. I knew they existed because friends of mine like Jonathan Ross collect them and some very literate and intelligent people really rate the graphic novel as a form.
Many people would no more think of entering journalism than the sewage business - which at least does us all some good.
I don't need you to remind me of my age. I have a bladder to do that for me.
That one can love another of the same gender, that is what the homophobe really cannot stand.
I'd probably want to teach at university, because children would drive me insane. I suspect it would be English literature, Shakespeare and so forth. I've always been deeply, deeply in love with that kind of thing.
I have pushed the boat out as far as I should in terms of taking on too many things. I'm getting older and I just could not take it any more. I am now monitoring myself very closely and I'm just trying not to get into that sort of state again.
Stephen Fry on being gay My first words, as I was being born... I looked up at my mother and said, 'that's the last time I'm going up one of those.'
I get an urge, like a pregnant elephant, to go away and give birth to a book.
I was lucky enough to meet him a few times and to work with him once. I felt as if I had been allowed to try on the Crown Jewels. He was a great, remarkable man.
Love in all eight tones and all five semitones of the word's full octave.
It is a cliche that most cliches are true, but then like most cliches, that cliche is untrue.
An original idea. That can't be too hard. The library must be full of them.
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