Dan Castellaneta Quotes (96 Quotes)

Now, son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddies and kids with fake IDs.

I am so smart I am so smart S-M-R-T I mean, S-M-A-R-T

Yes, honey...Just squeeze your rage up into a bitter little ball and release it at an appropriate time, like that day I hit the referee with the whiskey bottle.

In this house, we obey the laws of thermodynamics!

After years of doing it, you learn the difference between your ego and your opinion. When you're married you have to cut through that.

There are times when the writers ask us to improvise. Sometimes the animators are inspired by what you do, and sometimes you are inspired by what the animators do.

I think the tone of the show has certainly changed over the years, because it's really, really hard to do something different when you have a show going on as long as this has.

Lisa, vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos

Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the bible.

If I were actually Homer Simpson, I'd be getting scripts out the wazoo.

I always enjoyed writing. I did playlets in high school, I did radio shows in college. That's one of the reasons I went down to Second City, because you could do acting and writing.

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day.

It's the cushiest job, but some lines are so funny that I crack up.

All normal people love meat. If I went to a barbeque and there was no meat, I would say 'Yo Goober Where's the meat'. I'm trying to impress people here Lisa. You don't win friends with salad.

Marge, you being a cop makes you the man Which makes me the woman - and I have no interest in that, besides occasionally wearing the underwear, which as we discussed, is strictly a comfort thing.

I think that most people don't even know that I do other things. They think that Homer is all that I do.

I want to shake off the dust of this one-horse town. I want to explore the world. I want to watch TV in a different time zone. I want to visit strange, exotic malls...I want to live, Marge Won't you let me live

Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex. It's also the food preparation.

It's a different way of getting across an emotion. You're trying to get it across to the animator because the animator is inspired by the voicetrack in terms of how to animate the character.

All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer.

I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman

This donut has purple in the middle, purple is a fruit.

It's the weirdest thing. When you go into acting, you expect to be a huge star and to be recognized... It did happen, but not in the way you expect it to... In L.A., I'm just another character actor.

If something is to hard to do, then it's not worth doing.

OK, son. Just remember to have fun out there today, and if you lose, I'LL KILL YOU

You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'.

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution.

The nice thing is that, at least in Los Angeles, I'm known as a character actor and I do auditions for other things besides just cartoon shows.

I know what you're saying, Bart. When I was young, I wanted an electric football machine more than anything else in the world, and my parents bought it for me, and it was the happiest day of my life. Well, goodnight.

Well you know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like women. You just have to read the manual and press the right button.

Marge, there's an empty spot I've always had inside me. I tried to fill it with family, religion, community service, but those were dead ends I think this chair is the answer.

It is better to watch things then to do them.

I've made a kind of pact with myself where I said, It doesn't matter what it is as long as I'm acting.

The code of the schoolyard, Marge The rules that teach a boy to be a man. Let's see. Don't tattle. Always make fun of those different from you. Never say anything, unless you're sure everyone feels exactly the same way you do.

Marge, I agree with you -- in theory. In theory, communism works. In theory.

Alcohol is the cause and the solution to many of life's problems.

The humor is essentially dark for a cartoon and sophisticated. But at the same time, being a cartoon gives the writers more freedom than in a normal sitcom. It always pushes the line that, despite human failings, the Simpsons are really decent people.

And Lord, we are especially thankful for nuclear power, the cleanest, safest energy source there is. Except for solar, which is just a pipe dream.

Marge, what's wrong Are you hungry Sleepy Gassy Gassy Is it gas It's gas, isn't it

To many, Homer may appear lazy and a loser, but he's just much misguided. He's boorish, sure, but well meaning and, I guess, the one thing we have in common is the pursuit of lousy diets.

One of my favorite episodes was the one in which Homer grew hair. That was a very unique episode, since there was a gay secretary, but that wasn't even the issue of the show-the issue was Homer's image changing because he had hair.

Son, this is the only time I'm ever gonna say this. It is not okay to lose.

And there's nothing wrong with hitting someone when his back is turned.

Kill myself Killing myself is the last thing I'd ever do. Now I have a purpose, a reason to live. I don't care who I have to face, I don't care who I have to fight, I will not rest until this street gets a stop sign

Go ahead and play the blues if it'll make you happy.

Kill my boss Do I dare live out the American dream