My friend has a baby. I'm writing down all the noises the baby makes so later I can ask him what he meant.
More Quotes from Steven Wright:
It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.Steven Wright
I was in the grocery store. I saw a sign that said 'pet supplies.' So I did. Then I went outside and saw a sign that said 'compact cars....'
Steven Wright
I was arrested today for scalping low numbers at the deli.... Sold number 3 for 28 bucks.
Steven Wright
I told her I knew when I was going to die because my birth certificate had an expiration date on it.
Steven Wright
I Xeroxed a mirror. Now I have an extra Xerox machine.
Steven Wright
They say we're 98 water. We're that close to drowning.... picks up his glass of water from the stool ... I like to live on the edge....
Steven Wright
Readers Who Like This Quotation Also Like:
Based on Topics: Babies QuotesSome things don't wind up sounding like you'd expect, which is just as well.
Fred Frith
Bent metal is worse than bent wood and weight for weight is more flexible.
Lawrence Hargrave
All you have to do is just believe in what's there; then, the audience will, too.
Brendan Fraser