I like to torture my plants by watering them with ice cubes.
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When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, "Well, what do you need?"Steven Wright
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Based on Keywords: cubes, wateringBy and large, jazz has always been like the kind of a man you wouldn't want your daughter to associate with.
Duke Ellington
It's not a very popular subject amongst my audience, who are by nature more internationalist, but I don't choose what to write about, I don't choose my subjects, they kind of choose me.
Billy Bragg
It is easier to do one's duty to others than to one's self. If you do your duty to others, you are considered reliable. If you do your duty to yourself, you are considered selfish.
Thomas Szasz