I think God's going to come down and pull civilization over for speeding.
More Quotes from Steven Wright:
My girlfriend does her nails with white-out. When she's asleep, I go over there and write misspelled words on them.Steven Wright
I haven't done a film in about five years and I want to do more. It's not a matter of expense, because budgets are low, it's the problem of not having a really good idea.
Steven Wright
It's a good thing we have gravity or else when birds died they'd just stay right up there. Hunters would be all confused.
Steven Wright
I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
Steven Wright
My friend Winnie is a procrastinator. He didn't get his birth mark til he was eight years old.
Steven Wright
If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?
Steven Wright
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Earl Blumenauer
How strange that nature does not knock, and yet does not intrude!
Emily Dickinson
I write, or used to write, to explain to myself situations I couldn't otherwise solve or understand. Meditation comes very naturally to me.
Anne Stevenson