I can't stop thinking like this.
More Quotes from Steven Wright:
My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments.Steven Wright
I plugged my phone in where the blender used to be. I called someone. They went 'Aaaaahhhh...'
Steven Wright
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
Steven Wright
I got food poisoning today. But I don't know when I'm going to use it.
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The other day I... uh, no, that wasn't me.
Steven Wright
If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer?
Steven Wright
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